Friday, November 27, 2009

One Smelly Cannoli in the Gym

I am in the gym, doing my thing. The gym is small. These are old buildings so they have been converted into many things that they were never intended for. The gym has several rooms that kind of meander around in a jig saw puzzle kind of way. There is a particular section that is probably the size of a large bedroom that people use to stretch, do sit-ups, etc.

I head into this room to finish up my work out. I grab one of the giant exercise balls to do some crunches. There is a kid in there. I have seen him in the gym before. I have mildy amused myself thinking that 15 years ago I would thought him possibly worthy of working into my web, at least for a week or two. Not really being into the whole cougar thing, the thoughts quickly leave my mind and my brain moves back to the au courant place of the populist anger filtering out of my iPod.

As I enter into the small room, he is acting unusual. Nervous, maybe. Whatever, I think to myself. I chalk it up to the stereotypical Swedish, almost to the point of neurosis, reservation. Even stranger, he abruptly leaves.

Then it hits me. The stench. A green fog of putrid odor ordered up from some hell-like depths of his bowels. Gee, thanks for the parting gift, I think. Not so cute anymore, more smelly.

Now I am alone in the stretching area. In comes unsuspecting stretcher number three. And it hits me. Oh. My. God. He thinks I did that. That I am responsible for that, what is now just a lingering chartreuse mist, permeating the air. I wanted to explain, "No really, it wasn't me, it was the blonde kid. You saw him, right? He was in here, not two minutes ago, I swear." But, being somewhat neurotically reserved at times myself, I lived with the incrimination of the cannoli.

This was a few days ago but today I saw the kid again. Of course, now when I see him, I think of the cannoli. Probably it's all the other unsuspecting stretcher can think when he sees me next too.

5 comments:

  1. hahahahaha!

    I can match that though -

    The other day Tiago and I were walking to his university and I had this bag on - that goes over one shoulder - and i guess it was a little too heavy... anyway, so we ran into one of his girl friends and he introduced us and when I went to shake her hand, I realized that I couldn't move my hand. It had fallen asleep. I tried to use it to shake hers and it went in some weird direction and so i had to move it with my other arm to try and get it into hers. So she shook some limp thing that didn't belong to me! hahaha! sooo embarrassing!

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  2. @alexistheory- that's horrible! that girl must've thought you're some flabby person.

    @kmbr- I can't top off that story but andrew from ettfoto wrote a hilarious story about how men at his gym walk around barefoot. http://www.ettfoto.com/general/gym-etiquette/
    do you have that problem? ;)

    god the swedes are funny!

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  3. That is hilarious. She probably thinks you have some sort of condition. "Have you met Tiago's girlfriend, poor thing she can only use her right arm"...

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  4. @sapphire

    no matter how much you work your arms, you’ll end up like a light-bulb looking goof! LOL!

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  5. @kmbr - haha i know. andrew is so funny.

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