Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Don't Know My Rodneys From My Stanleys

Nor do I know my Kappas from my Reeboks. Actually I have zero desire. I am talking about soccer. It is difficult to articulate my utter distain for soccer. It is deeper than just not liking a sport, it goes against the grain of something elemental in all good Americans. It is just wrong. Embracing soccer would be like adding a jar of Nutella to the pantry and putting it right next to the peanut butter.

I got into it once with a soccer coach. He was talking about David Beckham and explained to me that people do not understand that soccer is different. A player can be one of the best in the world and hardly ever score a goal. Ofcourse, I found that amusing. It put it all into perspective for me. Made sense. That is why the areas of the world that take it seriously as a sport embrace it. That about sums up their entire world view right there.

I do not have a problem with rugby. Americans, as a rule, don't play rugby. A Brit once explained the class structure of sports to me. I was told in Britain, it's a class thing. Blue collar plays soccer, white collar plays rugby. I do not know that we have class distinctions in sports. I guess raising thoroughbreds is a rich man's sport. Golf used to be an upper class sport but now it seems everyone golfs. Not so much because golf has gotten cheaper either, we have all just gotten a lot richer as much as most people like to believe otherwise.

I am glad the rest of the world has soccer. World soccer fans should be happy it doesn't catch on with anyone over the age of ten in the United States. Imagine if it was a popular as basketball or football. All of the best players in the world would come to the United States. Every soccer club in the world would become a farm team for US soccer as the best players would go for the highest dollar payday in the US, not at home. Hopefully for the good of all, Americans will never warm to it.


  1. we are frightneningly similar I tell you. My Coworker and good friend played soccer in college and semi pro afterwards and he and I have had nearly identical conversations.

    utterly non interested.


    Does exsist in the US. You didn't know?

  3. Why, oh why, do you Americans think that your own view on something is the be all and end all? I have news for you-It Is Not. So because YOU don't like football (that is, the proper one, not the football which you lot actually run around with in your hands because you're too bloody scared to get kicked), it's just not worth it, and is a useless waste of time? Oh and by the way-I don't like football either-but your views stink. You lot are so bloody insular and narrow-minded. I'm now wiping you off my bookmarks, you idiot.

  4. Kmbr. I didn't see where u decreed everyone had to agree with your opinion. Oh well.

  5. Your comments are dead on. Soccer. Bleh. I can't even remember if it is supposed to end in "or" or "er".

    Around here, it's just a bunch of rich, white kids getting rid of some energy before their parents try to pawn the Nutella off on them as a snack.

  6. I knew I was touching a holy grail here. Sometimes you wonder if you should take it that far. That usually means YES!